Inside Satire Brewing: From Secret Doors to Loaded Squirrels
If you’ve ever walked into a brewery that felt like a sterile, cold warehouse with zero personality, we apologize on behalf of the craft beer industry. At Satire, we believe every single nook and cranny of a craft brewery should have its own character, story, and purpose.
With 9,000 square feet of usable space — and custom cocktails or craft beers available in every corner—here is a breakdown of the distinct taproom spaces at Satire Brewing Company.
1. The Old World Tasting Room (Front Room) This is our original space and the core of our conversation-first philosophy. Designed specifically with zero TVs and lower-volume background music, the Tasting Room is built for real connection. It houses our main 20-tap draft system, lower comfortable seating, and an easygoing date-night vibe. It’s the ideal spot to catch up with long-lost friends, hold a low-key business chat, or enjoy a fresh pour without screaming over a ballgame.
2. The Nut Room Named as a nod to our upcoming squirrel mascot (because everyone remembers the squirrel), the Nut Room is our dedicated sports, merchandise, and game space. It features a full bar presence serving our custom cocktail menu, a giant 85-inch main TV, two side screens, shuffleboard, and dartboards. Whether you’re catching Monday Night Football, an Avalanche game, or challenging a buddy to darts, this room delivers the energy.
3. The Back Brewing Room Want to drink a beer right where the magic happens? The Brewing Room places you right next to our fermenting tanks—affectionately named Larry, Curly, and Moe. Equipped with four TVs, flexible table seating on wheels, and direct access to the South Patio, this space hosts game-day fans, shared party groups, and community events alike.
4. The Moose Room Formerly known as the Moose Lodge (until folks kept wandering off to the actual local fraternity lodge down the street), the Moose Room features low table seating, rustic mounts, and an intimate, cozy atmosphere. It offers a private, warm feel for smaller gatherings without isolating your group from the rest of the taproom’s energy.
5. The Medieval Secret Room (Coming Soon!) Hidden behind a sliding rock door, our upcoming Middle Ages-inspired hideout is pure Old World ruggedness. It features custom timber tables handcrafted from downed local timber using traditional pegs and glue—just like they were built 1,000 years ago. Complete with a gas fireplace, bear and buffalo rugs, and custom horn drinkware, we’re even brewing special historical "braggots" (honey-barley brews spiced with old-world herbs like meadowsweet and sweet gale) specifically for this space.
Whether you're looking for sports, quiet conversation, or a pint in a secret room, we've got a seat waiting for you.
Frequently Asked Questions
Which room is best for watching sports?
Head straight to the Nut Room or the Back Brewing Room. The Nut Room features an 85-inch main screen, two side TVs, and a full bar presence. The Back Brewing Room adds another four TVs right alongside our brewing tanks.
Do I have to drink beer, or do you serve cocktails too?
Cocktails aren't just allowed; they're encouraged! While our main tap wall lives in the Old World Tasting Room, custom draft and canned cocktails can be served in every single nook and cranny across all 9,000 square feet of our space.
Why did you change the name from Moose Lodge to Moose Room?
Because people were literally telling their friends to meet at "Satire's Moose Lodge," and their friends were accidentally driving to the actual, fraternal Moose Lodge down the road. We updated the name so nobody ends up drinking a random lager with strangers by mistake.
Can I sit on the South Patio during the winter?
You’re welcome to head out there any time of year, but unless you’re wearing a heavy arctic coat, you might get cold! During nicer weather, the South Patio offers plenty of outdoor seating right off the Highline Canal Trail.
How do I gain access to the Medieval Secret Room?
Once completed, the Secret Room will be hidden behind a sliding rock door. Keep an eye on our social media and event announcements for details on when it opens, how to reserve it, and when you can start drinking out of custom horn glasses!
